Okay, the new blog is called “Sure Rants A Lot” which is a play off of Sir Lancelot. I just thought it sounded cute and I was able to score the URL.

Sure Rants A Lot Blog

Thanks everyone! See you at the new blog!
Chris

Hey guys,

The blog was getting kind of popular so I decided to take it seriously and move it to it’s own domain. I’m still setting it up, but I’ll announce it real soon! There will be lots of new rants – I promise!

I ask you – what is the point of having a big honkin’ dream catcher dangling from your rear-view mirror? Are you planning to fall asleep at the wheel? Or are you living in your car and catching dreams at night?

When your dream catcher is full, what do you do with them? Flick them out the window like boogers?

Some friends of mine mentioned this pet peeve and I have to say I agree. It’s definitely worth a spot on this blog.

ATTENTION ESCALATOR BLOCKERS
The world does not revolve around YOU. There are other people on the escalator behind you that would like to get off before it sucks them under the floor. There are no stores in the mall basement, so nobody has a desire to go there.

So please, exit the damn escalator, walk 20 paces and THEN, only then, look around and get your bearings. Chances are there is an information kiosk nearby.

Thank you. This message is a public service brought to you by the MyBitchFest blog and it’s readers.

Am I the only one who doesn’t watch acting award shows? I mean, the majority of the participants are just a bunch of spoiled, fake people who pretend and pose for a living.

I DON’T CARE whose designs they are wearing. I DON’T CARE who did their hair. I DON’T CARE about how many carats are around their necks or fingers. Who gives a shit? These awards are pretty much about who can out-pretend who. That’s what acting is – pretending. They get paid enough. Do we really need to add awards and celebrity gift bags to that? How about having award shows for great scientists or inventors? Great teachers or great parents? THAT is something we should have on TV.

By the way, acting CAN be an admirable profession if it teaches something or makes the world a better place. Otherwise, I don’t rank them any higher than the guy who sucks the crap out of our septic tank every 2 years.

I don’t smoke, but I have friends that do. They want to quit but just can’t seem to do it. I used to think it was lack of willpower, but after watching this story on the news, I am thinking very differently.

Apparently, a study just came out showing that the larger tobacco companies have increased the nicotine levels by 10% or more since 1998. You can read more about it here and here or do a news search for the latest. The TV news program I was watching said that the nicotine levels in Marlboro – the preferred brand among the younger set – Newport and Camel cigarettes rose every year, and Kool cigarettes, which are marketed toward minorities, rose as much as 20%.

Um… How can I put this? THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HELL. I’m sorry, but if there is a hell, these assholes are going. They are just plain evil. I think every person here in the US, and most other countries in the world, knows at least one person who has died from smoking. We are all affected by it. My father in-law died from lung cancer. How do you think my husband felt, at age 22, when he lost his dad?

It just blows me away how these pricks claim they are trying to help people quit and inform the public about the dangers of smoking while doing this. How can they look us in the face? How do they sleep at night? Maybe their next plan is to open up a bunch of clinics to help people stop smoking, and charge for it. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Bastards.

Recently, I purchased an expensive set of “lip plumping” gloss at a well-known makeup store in the mall. (Yes, I have thin little bird lips.) The set had 6 cute little lip gloss containers in it, in various colors. I think the set cost me $35 at the time.
I brought them home and one of the containers was missing the ring mechanism that sloughs the gloss off of the wand. It came out in a big glob and ran down the sides of the container. I couldn’t get it back in. I ended up returning the set and exchanging for a new one. (Did I mention that this store is over an hour’s drive from my house?) I brought the new set home and the same thing happened with a different color! I emailed the company twice to let them know that they had a manufacturing problem, but never heard anything back. Not a thing. I don’t even think I got auto-reply.

Some companies truly stand behind their products, but unfortunately many do not. Or at least their customer service department doesn’t care. I feel like I made an effort on my part to remedy the problem by driving all of that way and making a return, but when it happens twice… well, it’s something to bitch about and that’s why it’s here.

By the way, I also feel like a hypocrite because I love their stupid lip gloss and will probably buy it again. Grrrr.

These are usually people who are driving 10 MPH below the speed limit in front of me when I need to be somewhere fast. They must want me to REALLY ADMIRE their collection of stuffed animals, Beanie Babies and hats.

It’s fascinating.

I can see why automatic toilets are a good thing for the most part. I don’t have to touch that disease-ridden handle for one, and the place does smell better since everyone HAS to flush (another rant for another time). But it really sucks when you sit down to pee and the stupid thing keeps flushing – and they REALLY flush! I get worried that I’ll be sucked down to China. I like China and all, but I don’t want to ride the poop-water express there. I’m not Nemo for God’s sake.
I heard that the electric eye has trouble seeing black. That’s what people said when these toilets first came out anyway. It’s too bad that they didn’t pick a yucky color for it not to see. Actually, wouldn’t it be funny if it flushed only when you made bad fashion choices? They should put one of those toilets on the show “What Not To Wear”. It would be hilarious! If you picked a bad outfit you had to be subjected to the “Torture Toilet”. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Maybe it’s just my anatomy, but I have a feeling other women have pondered this too. The crotch panels in underwear are not in the correct place. They are too far back. This makes the placement of panty liners and pads guesswork until one gets experienced.
Companies have been manufacturing underwear for many, many years. I’m surprised nobody has figured it out. (Well, actually I’m not.) Do they all use the same pattern? What gives? The elasticized bands – see Bitch #4.